Sunday, September 24, 2006

Been hearing a lot about love lately. And seeing it too.
About how people fall in it.
Fall out of it.
Tiptoe around it. Apprehensively.
Circle it like a hunter circling its prey. And poke it. Tempt it to show its true self. Urge it to come out of its shell.
With words.
With actions.
With silence.
With inaction.
Am loving it. And laughing.
And remembering my first love.
And suddenly, the lanky, bespectacled, rather dumb young man is transformed into an unreal vision of unfulfilled dreams. Of hundreds of could-have-beens, should-have-beens and would-have-beens combined.

I put my crumbling, old, dusty unrealities away. Lock them up in that intricate curved box that somehow always smells of moth balls and guavas and push it back under the farthest recesses of my bed.

Now I am back.

I wish people luck.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love is an illusion..is it?Or just the reflection of an illusory past?

The eternal missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle...it fascinates me more than it frightens me.Try to find the missing pieces if you will.Not a futile exercise..nor an attempt in vain---you realize this in sundry afternoons and stormy nights when you smile without a reason.
Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Or is it the non-Narcissistic Echo of the sub-conscious for which the temporal rhythms are forever lost in the "is-ness" of its experiential euphoria.

Anonymous said...

Yes!

With every utterance of "Here I am" what comes back is "I am".

And "is-ness" is eternally in conflict with "ought-ness"--Would-be and should-be are forever lost in the maze of 'what is' and 'what i am'.

Anonymous said...

then this Mind At Large is inhabitaing the World's Biggest Drug Store.

Le Gal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

A panacea, is it? :P

Anonymous said...

A frying pan in Asia. ;p

Le Gal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Frying pan to...?? :P

Anonymous said...

..the Fire of Love. a complete circle. ;p

Anonymous said...

A complete circle? :P--A big zero?Zilch in layman's language? ;)

Anonymous said...

Zero. True. Most enigmatic Echo of all numbers. Any function applied derives the same 'Self' of that number.

Anonymous said...

Only the multiplication (read procreation) will derive a non-result.

Anonymous said...

Ah.Coming back to layman's language, most enigmatic Echo is bound to be a sad player. Echo was rejected in a ghastly fashion.

And lovelorn Narcissus pined away in 'Self' destructive 'Self'-adulation.

And they never added let alone multiplication :P

Anonymous said...

Q.E.D.

AquilusAltus said...

hmmm, anonymous and anonymous.

And oh yes, first love. I remember.

Anonymous said...

"....tread softly because you tread on my dreams..."

it comes, like a gush of strong breeze, sweeps us off our feet, intoxicates us with its maddening perfume. the sisyphean life suddenly becomes exciting, the texture of my being changes, the I and body merges, soul unites with mind and I become YOU.

sometimes i think dreams are more insipid than reality. reality has its sharp edges with which it pokes me and reminds me the sensation of pain. i bleed but its the blood of realisation, realisation of the fact that no one treads softly and the "should have beens and the could have beens" will remain, as they are not meant to be fulfilled.

Anonymous said...

love..the most over-used word of today..
its like dope, get high, feel stupidly good about everything and then come down to face the hard times.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmm......................bujhlam...............amio tor roshod khanikta jugiechhi bol?????????????bhaba jae........ei okaleo manushe prem e pore..........dhakka khae,khoto toiri hoe,rokto jhore..tao manush abar prem e pore,abar banchar shopno dekhe,abar ekbar hashte chae,etai er anondo.majhe majhe mone hoe manush bodhhoe jeche aghat khaoar jonno prem e pore........prem ta ki??????voluntary enslavement,compromise,sacrifice,selling one's soul to someone...........what is the point in falling in love?but then when that special someone arrives(may arrive more than once;and remember i mean special someone not the one meant for you by destiny) ........we tend to fall in love,keeping aside all the gloom and sorrow and pain......we tend to take the risk all over again,we tend to repeat all that we said,or did,or wanted to do the last time..........and more over we get scared.scared because history repeats itself..............scared because the wound that we hide in our souls may be exposed all over again.......and then there lies the risk of deepening the wound.......but still we fall in love dear............i guess this is the magic of the word LOVE...........and dont worry.........you will also find someone for yourself..........as cliche as this may sound............but then someone somewhere is waiting for you...........someone who is only your's......as for me......i am only taking up another risk...........not sure whether this is the right person for me or not...................

Anonymous said...

premjit er oporer comment ta oshadharon.

Anonymous said...

Love breeds so many things--the complexities of life and the pleasure from simple things.But who ever thought of this???---a post on the topic bred Comments Anonymous. :P

Keep going!

Interesting comments.And brilliant post!

Ashi said...

interesting, first love... was a git, but wholesomely still in love with him

inihos said...

first love...he was tall and lanky too...seemed so real then...seems so far away and illusory now

"sen"sational said...

@the anon commenters - I can only recognise JS and AP and AB among them.
JS and AP, the conversation that you had was marvellous!!
AB, why so many dots???

@aquilus, ashi and inihos - :) *faraway look*

Diviani said...

too much verbosity..!

;p

Anki said...

First love..hmm.... perhaps ... ends up as memories that accompany a familiar song and makes one lose faith

Lord Blackadder said...

First Love is like a Christmas Cracker. A Big Bang and you have to throw it away.

Prometheus_Unbound said...

Very evocatively written.

Of hundreds of could-have-beens, should-have-beens and would-have-beens......Brings backs memories.