It's like you are outside your body, and looking down on it. And inside it, at the same time. And it feels as if the you've just had 1 joint all to yourself. All zonked and dry-mouthed and you desperately want to puke. And there's a lump in your throat and you can't breathe? And it's like the 55 year old man who died suddenly this morning, and the 15 year old stepping forward for Mukhagni just don't exist any longer. Never did. Never will.
You know, like Neil Gaiman talking about 'parallel Americas' and how dream defines reality and destiny defines freedom? And suddenly I think of aunt Teleute. Pale and shimmering, weird eye-shadow and desperately cool. And Morpheus, with his Matthew and Lucien and all. It's funny, how I am thinking of Sandman, continuously, since I heard the news.
Suddenly, all of them make frightening sense.
Khider thekeo sposhto.
Coherence is not happening. Just. Not. Happening. No. Expectations. Happening. No. NO.
Comfortably Numb was CREATED to soothe claustrophobic, troubled, hurting souls. Listening to it in an endless loop since this afternoon. The sweat has dried, and it feels like sleeping on cold cement floors when you are burning up with fever.
Want to ESCAPE, dammit!! No crying baby. Just. No. Tears.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?