.....and suddenly....everything is so much sharper.......everything....it's like someone has retuned the old and rickety television set of a mind....even the lone raindrop which fell on my upturned face and trickled down..... almost unnoticed..... till my lips...seems colder, clearer and tinglier (pardon the awful choice of words) all of a sudden...

The above sentences don't make any sense....but then....nothing in my life makes much sense either... I think I have lost the power to differentiate between reality and make believe....and random conversations do not help.....


p.s. ignore this post..... am in a horribly incoherent mood today....

"Girls smoke only to maintain equality with the guys. They are only trying to imitate the guys by smoking."

"When a guy gives gaali, it is not good....but when a girl uses bad language, it is so bad...it is positively obscene. This is also an attempt by the girls to imitate us guys."

"I have selected a very nice topic for this year's debate. It goes something like 'Should girls smoke??'"

This...from a student of one of the premiere educational institutions in the city. He is almost 20...and also happens to be my best friend's boyfriend.

??????????????????????

Sigh.

Am in a lazy-sleepy-dreamy-grinny-eatluchialurdom-readpartofanovel-sleepagain-dreamagain-talkcrazy-dance-listentobismillahkhan-watchapursansar-haverandomconversationswithpersonewhosevoicesoundslikesandipray-walkintherainwearingshortssothatthelegsgetsplashed-spendhourssuckingaspoonfullachaar kind of a mood.

Nothing much happening in life really. Except for the fact that I am suddenly grinning all day and watching mushy movies. Don't know why. Don't want to know.

Except for that....nothing to do. Nothing to write about. (I can't believe two people actually wanted an update!!!! From me!!!!!!! Shniff...shniff..HK and A...me flattered...me honoured....)

So will post this all time favourite poem instead...


I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue

By Pablo Neruda

…and besides everything…watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S when you are depressed is a bad…bad… BAD idea…because it only succeeds in making you realize how utterly, totally cute and unattainable Matthew Perry really is.

Sigh.

….and everything said and done I can’t deny the fact that it is mouthwateringly delicious and breathtakingly beautiful to see 22 sweaty but gorgeous… gorgeous men with perfectly sculpted bodies (yes…I have to admit 99% of the soccer players are…to put it mildly….pure hunks) run around the field in their shorts…chasing a ball.

I don’t know any of the technical nitty gritties of the game (and according to certain people this makes me no better than the ‘next air-headed bimbo’), but still, I am making it a point to catch as many matches a possible….just to ogle and soak in the sheer beauty of it all.

Oooohhhh!! Be still, my heart!!

Been forced to play the role of an agony aunt till wee hours of the morning.

It has been almost 4 years now.

And he is still not over her.

And by the look of things....neither is she.

But of-course....they will never admit that. Both of them.

Sigh.

Sometimes I wonder.....

...and apart from everything else...there were two elephants in the JU campus....yes..TWO..I kid you not...but as soon as I got onto one of them..(one of my old school friends was on the other one...)..the JU jheel magically (well..duh!!) turned into my school..surrounded by no less than acres and acres of yellow mustard fields...straight out of some Yash Chopra flick...(it looked weird though...a small, yellow building....within the mustard fields...too much yellow, I tell you..)....and I raced...ACTUALLY RACED....my elephant down those fields.(with my friend racing her elephant right beside me...of course)..the only problem being that as I had just come out of the department my ...(as in...I found the elephants and the friend waiting for me after I had come out of the examination hall..)....my jhola kept coming in my way...and I couldn't have a very comfortable ride...but on the flipside...there was a mahut somewhere I think...lurking in the background most probably...and while I was racing the elephant and trying to manage the irritating jhola at the same time...he kept offering me tiny cucumber sandwiches and patisaptas which looked simply delicious....

With dreams like these...any wonder why I love to sleep???

I had ‘batasas’ last night. At 1:30 a.m. Nice scrunchy, sickly sweet ‘gurer batasa’. While desperately trying to understand Coetzee.
Coetzee, ‘gurer batasa’, a splitting headache and watery eyes makes a very interesting combination. Inject some intense panic in it, and the combination turns positively lethal.
So I closed my book, switched on my computer and read The Sandman instead. I have been reading it a lot recently.
And nobody please ask me how my exams went today.
I made up stuff as I went along. Especially about Rushdie and "Haroun and the Sea of Stories".
And Hamlet Pow Pow Pow advised me to think of it as 'meta academics'.....because 'I made up a story about a story about a story'....
Wow!! Interesting thought....that.....

'Jeebono jokhon shukaye jay
Korunadharay eso,
Sokol madhuri lukaye jay
Geetosudharose eso.

Kormo jokhon probol-akar
Goroji uthiya dhake charidhaar
Hridoyoprante he neerobo nath,
Shanto chorone eso.

Aponare jobe koria kripon
Kone pore thake deenoheen mon,
Duyar khuliya he udaro nath,
Raj somarohe eso.

Basona jokhon bipul dhulay
Ondho koriya obodhe bhulaye,
Ohe pobitro, ohe onidro,
Rudro aloke eso.'

If I had to choose a single literary piece to help me get through the rest of my life, this would probably be it. You won't believe the amount of bad times I went through with this as my sole companion (Too bad I can't sing...or I would have hummed this all day long)
Thanks, buddy, for creating this....(you don't mind being called buddy...do you??)
Thanks....for being there.... with this....and numerous others.....always...... whenever I needed them/you....


Ektu deri hoye galo (this should have been done yesterday)...but never mind....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, anyways.

Fourteen years of toil finally paid off today. I am happy....very much so....

But the effect was perhaps a tad bit marred by almost 50 squiggly, hyperactive kids (not ONE of them was more than 5 years old) ....NONE of whom would keep their make-up on even for 10 minutes at a stretch.... you won't believe the number of times I was confronted with tearful eyes and smudgy make-up and wails of 'Didi gooooooooo....o amar kajol dhebre dilo goooooooooooo'.

Wuuuuufffff....I will go and have a big bowl of chocolate ice cream now.....my batteries need some serious recharging....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO..............ZE GOD....

Oh.....the woes of Dancing....

'Sen' is in deep trouble.
She has a show on the 7th.
And her knees are bloody and scraped and have turned black and blue from too much 'baghlei'. (That's a Manipuri term for going round and round on your knees...it is an integral part of the classical dance form)
Knee caps aren't helping. They hurt even more.
And though 'Sen' is possibly the worst dancer in the group...(she trips like a hundred times for each round of 'baghlei'she does...and is clumsy too...and can't go round in perfect circles as almost all the others manage to do..) she will have to put on a semblance of performance on the 7th....won't she???
So, does anybody have any tips on how to make black and blue and bloody knees heal in record time? (And while thinking please keep in mind that 'Sen' can't rest her knees completely till the 7th...she has rehearsals you see...)
'Sen' will be eternally grateful for a tip that works....and promises to feed the kind hearted soul as much chocolate fudge sundae as he/she desires....

Let's just put it this way.....

I have sore feet from walking and standing for too long ....

I have terrible, terrible, terrible mosquito bites all over my body.... even though my eyes are watering with all the mosquito repellant smoke....

And I got a terrible 'jhaar' from my dida for staying out extra late....

But I would gladly go through all these .... and more... to watch this just one more time......

p.s. Oh....and before I forget....I hereby declare that I am totally, irrevocablyand majorly in love with Puck...{or is it beacuse I liked the person who played it??....because when we went to backstage to get his autograph...(we were gushing sooo much that the cameraman kindly offered to take us backstage) it was HE (the actor's name is Ajay Kumar for those who don't know) who seemed awestruck at having to give his autograph...and kept on smiling a most embarrassed smile...as if he couldn't quite believe that this was happening}

p.p.s okay....okay....I know I am gushing....but what-to-do??... I can't help it.... I seriously AM mesmerised....and yes...I know the production was not perfect.....it had it's faults....but everything...right from the stagecraft to the lighting to the music to the acting....everything kind of came together and left me quite.....speechless....and....dazed...

my passion.....
my escape.....
my solace.....
my refuge.....

Ufffff...........at last.....term paper submitted, tests and presentations given......lull in work for at least 1 day (I hope so....)

And.....one of my friends says - "Dhush....amra insincere noi...amra shudhu phaankibaj...there is a difference between insincere and phaankibaaj you see...."

Errrr.....there is????

Aaaaarrrghhhhh....

Term papers, presentations, tests, end sems......suddenly...everything....one after the other.....nothing done, nothing prepared....
And on top of that I can't get this song "Free falling" out of my head....and I don't even know all the lyrics. Only the tune keeps on coming back and haunting me.....
Aaaaarrrghhhh.....GET OUT of my head you stupid song.........GET OUT I SAY.....

And everything said and done.......

I still believe in a 'Knight in Shining Armour'.

So there.

My very own 'Bandorer Dal'.

Taken by Anc (therefore, he is missing from the pic) during our memorable expedition to 'Scoop'.

How many people can YOU identify???

Spring is in the air. And love is all around.
And ‘Sen’ wants someone special too.
Most of ‘Sen’s friends are starting to get into relationships.
And ‘Sen’ is feeling kind of overwhelmed at the rate in which ‘Sen’s friends are falling in love.
But ‘Sen’ can’t find any suitable ‘someone special’ anywhere around her.
‘Sen ’ is very disappointed.
And ‘Sen’ has not been allowed to go over to Benaras. Or to Bhubaneswar either. Because ‘Sen’s end sem exams are looming ahead.
So ‘Sen’ is feeling kind of sad too. Because apart from the fact that she can’t visit any of her cousins before they go off to their B-schools, ‘Sen’ has also not studied AT ALL for her examinations.
(All she seems to do in the university now-a-days is to hang out with friends and ogle at a certain silver haired professor)
‘Sen’ thinks that she should really stop writing in third person.
‘Sen’ also thinks that it is high-time for some introspection and chocolate ice cream

This will be puzzling to certain people.....

What do you prefer???
Mountain Dew
Pepsi
or
Slice??

Or do you prefer the large bottle of water instead???