Dear Mr. Subramaniam Iyer..

..or Jahangir Chaudhury. Whatever.




Will you please marry me?

Infatuation ta toh ultimately useless, na?

If you care.

Do check this out.

And contribute. If you can.

Because that's the only thing we can do right now.

God bless.

Ae dil, hai mushkil,
Jeena yahaan,
Zara hat ke,
Zara bach ke,
Yeh hai Bombay meri jaan.

Nothing other than very obvious rudeness ever makes me learn my lesson.

A friend said I was gullible. I think the right word would be stupid.

So I was in this cab. With Maa and Bhai. And I was, as usual, bickering away with my very pesky sibling for the window seat. (Do not ask me how two people can fight over two window-seats. We just were. So there.)

The fight is not the point here. The point is, suddenly, during the conversation I realized that Maa had been relinquishing her window seats to either one of us for the last 20 years.

Holy Shit! That's a LOT of time spent sitting in the middle.

I also realized that I have never seen her eat the chicken leg (it invariably goes to either me or bhai) OR that last piece of chocolate.

Poor Ma.

Sacrificing away since 1988.

This mothering thing is harder than I thought.

Hee.

So, these are some of the search-phrases which made Google direct people to my blog. Hilarious would be an understatement.

Bhenge mor ghorer chaabi niye jaabi - Understandable. One of my favourite songs. Seems I am not alone.

Geriartrophile - Err, I didn't really mean it THAT way.

Chotkabe - Ki? Kano? Were you trying to find squishy porn? Or just the recipe for aloo-bhaatey?

Harry potter magic words laviosa - Ooookay. Though I do not understand, with mugglenet and wikipedia, why MY blog would come up in the search. But then, I did mention these words some time back. And Google is nothing if not thorough.

Baje sargam har taraf se - Aww. Nostalgia. I am assuming its not just me who loves this.

Batasa sweets - What about them? They are round, white, sweet. Found in abundance during any kind of pujo. Like, DUH!

Aguner poroshmoni words - Go buy yourself a Geetobitan.

Subhayu is useless - Hahahahahahahaha. This is one of my favourites. At least, someone ELSE thinks this is true too.

Amlan dasgupta birthday - Well. I won't tell you. Find it out yourself, if you like the man. Hmph.

Arunava learning - What? Learning to not-pat, not-freak-out-people, not-go-gaga-over-psychoanalysis? Someone is curious!

Patha bhaban school - Best school in the whole wide world. I hope your curiosity is satisfied?

Put your mp3 player on shuffle - You SERIOUSLY don't know how to do that?

Nobab kinle aram free - Kinchhe! Bolchhe! Dichchhe ki?

2008 madhyamik results of everybody - Yes. Well. Some passed. Some failed. Next question please.

Gangarati - Happens in Benares.

Mandira bedi doodh - Okay. Either I am a pervert, or this is really gross.

Geral durrell - The 'd' packed its bags and went to Hawaii, did it?

Kobi amar - Like, mine! All mine! My precious, types?

Bimboboti - Look at me! My name is misspelt! BUT, someone searches! I am famous! Oh the adulation!

Oly - Not so great anymore.

Pratyush da - What about him? Vague aquaintance. Son of a favourite teacher.

Rabindra rachanabali printed books - You get them at College street. At discount. Ask doyeeta.

Patisapta - Good to eat. I can make them. GAH.

Gulp it - What? Mod? Doodh? Jol?

Chirotar jol - Kano? Petroga?

Kubla kapoor - Either you forgot the Khan after. Or you forgot the Kunal before. Take your pick.

Prannoy roy - I worship. Any questions?

yarki English - I Seriously don't know man!

Bangal panu - Hahahahahaha. Khuje dyakho. Kotthao nei. Sorry.

Benares diwali descriptions - They are usually loud and bright. With loads of alcohol and cards.

Girls hostel dupurbela - Mone pore Ruby Roy?

Fivefindouters - And buster the dog! :D

Virgin emotions - What? Got dumped?

Shubhayu sen - Don't know any. Thank you.

Panu golpo - GAH. NEI. NEI. NEI.

Bolchhish? - Bolchhi. Sotti.

Wasim akram dress sense - Fantastic.

Mukhagni means - The exact english word eludes me.

Suddha bagchi - My friends are famous too!

Joker commitment - Is to put a smile on your face?

Panwallah - Sells paan?

Me and mandy - Know each other. WHAT is it exactly you want to find out?

Pip al pacino - The second and third words make up a delicious man. The first? Erm, Dickens?

Number of bookworms till date - Go on. I am curious to know.

Poulomi sardesai - Rajdeep has a sister? Or did my friend get married?

Puja alponas - Are hard. Can't do them.

Topshe maachh - Taste great!

Goopy gain bagha bain - Is childhood?

Mowas mean - Round sweet stuff you get during pujos.

Taking crap from people - Aha re. Ki koshto.

Pete seeger - Is fabulous?

Jignesh raja - Erm, you mean Altaaf?

Cute girl bedi young - Errrr..

Doyeeta - Okay, I have MANY famous friends.

Mamdobaji - Sotti. Mairi.

I can't go on any more. There were hundreds of them. Some obscene. Many about Ray. And SOME were plain ridiculous like, 'cute girls drinking milk'!

However, it is always nice to know it is not only me who thinks Subhayu is useless.

I am obsessively cleaning my room at 2 in the morning because I have a test in less than 12 hours.

Loop.

Mera kuch saamaan tumhare paas para hai 
Saawan ke kuch bheege bheege din rakkhe hai,
Aur mere ek khat mein lipti raat pari hai
Wo raat bhulaa do, mera wo saamaan lauta do.

Patjhar hai kuch ... hai na ?
Patjhar mein kuch patton ke girne ki aahat,
Kaano main ek baar pahan ke laut aai thi,
Patajhar ki wo shaakh abhi tak kaanp rahi hai - 
Wo shaakh gira do, mera wo saamaan lauta do.

Ek akeli chhatri mein jab aadhe aadhe bheeg rahe the,
Aadhe sookhe, aadhe geele, sukha to main le aayi thi,
Geela man shayad bistar ke paas para ho ;
Wo bhijwa do, mera wo saamaan lauta do.

Ek so sola chaand ki raatein, ek tumhare kaandhe ka til,
Geeli mehendi ki khushboo, jhooth mooth ke shikwe kuch -
Jhooth mooth ke wade bhi sab yaad karaa do,
Sab bhijwa do, mera wo saamaan lauta do.

Ek ijaazat de do bas,
Jab isako dafanaaungee
Main bhi wohi so jaungi.


Play this for me a hundred times, and I would request for another round.

So I was on a boat a couple of days ago, with the dark waters below me and the dark sky above. And the lamps at the ghaats winking from another life, maybe. When suddenly, I would have killed to hear a few strains of Bhatiyaali.

It was then that I realized that even though it hasn't even been a week, I am more than ready to go back home.

I feel alone.

I want Oscar Wilde and Cranberry Breezer.

And, I want people from Delhi and Hyderabad and New Jersey and Australia and Trivandrum and New York and Boston and Bangalore and other assorted places.


I demand that all of you come back. Each and everyone. Like, right now. And hang out in my room, and listen to music and watch movies and bitch and get drunk and talk and talk and talk until the yellow lamp glows dim, and then everyone can fall asleep. I will even cook breakfast. Luchi and aloor dom, and machher chop and cheesecake. I make a really mean cheesecake. Or else, if the weather permits, all of us can go for an early-morning tram ride. And have piping hot tea from the jhupri, with the 2 takar lero biscuit. Or we could make a stop at moharani for the kochuri and the jilipi. We can also have port-wine rattirbela. And I have a whole book full of cocktail recipes I want to try out. Anyways, I digress. I am rambling. I have not had an exhilirating conversation in AGES. Not with these people anyways.

I miss my friends.

Come back you. You, and you, and you.


Gah.

House of Cards.

Not really. Not at all. If you take into account the incredible, INCREDIBLE energy of the little Santhal kids dancing, singing and acting away to glory at Gyaan Manch yesterday. It was rivetting. It was humbling. Cynicism, at least temporarily, packed its bag and left.

I have been to this particular auditorium numerous times. Almost always to watch random intellectual plays, which did nothing for the pretentious soul that I am. This time, however, goosebumps did come.

As a teacher pointed out, amongst all the people around us, our ex-headmistress is probably leading the MOST meaningful life of all. I am just so incredibly glad that I know someone like her.

I will probably ( why probably? almost certainly.) go back to being the cynical, pretentious, empty-talking, card-playing no-gooder in a few days. Till that old self comes back, however, I shall quietly bask in the goodness all around.

There was a long patch of intense stupidity a couple of summers ago. And even through the regret, I am reading old mails and thinking whether second chances are valid.

"You either die a hero.....

....or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain. "

I guess he chose the former.

For once, let's just not talk. Useless words anyways.

Bhenge mor ghorer chaabi niye jaabi ke amare.

There was dust, and there was light. Moonbeams, yes. And lots of rain. Lots and lots of rain. Drenched clothes and drenched hair. And a soggy, clingy me. There was greyness. And blueness. And a general redness on the roads. There was candlelight like melted butter, groggy mornings and groggier car-rides. Drunken midnights and random, insane conversations. Rabindrasangeet had rarely made as much sense.

Shantiniketan was grey. Like Kopai. And Red. Like the roads. And Blue. Like the sky. And Yellow. Like the candles. And Black. Like the rickshaw-ride. And Fiery. Like the fireflies. And orange. Like the bauls. And heartwrenchingly, mesmerisingly beautiful.

Sometimes, you don't hanker for more,

You take what you can, and let the rest be. :)

Because, as there was shouting and singing, hugging and sleeping, eating and drinking, and generally breathtaking living - a tiny bit of magic floating aimlessly around the world finally found a foothold and settled down over eight motley people and a little, red-laned countryside.

"Betrayals in war are childlike compared with the betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For their heart is an organ of fire".

- The English Patient.

Mone holo tai.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?
Bhoothnaath. Mediocrity is even worse than being out and out trashy.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett.
Reading Lolita in Teheran - Azhar Nafisi.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Scrabble, Ludo, Snakes and Ladders. I am basically a board game person. Come play.

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Reader's Digest, Desh. Once, when angels sprouted wings, it used to be Anandamela.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The usual ones - air before storm, air after storm, topshe maachh bhaja, biriyani, new books. And certain people.

6. FAVORITE SOUND?
Generally all the sounds I produce. From screeches to thumpings. And the Pother Panchali soundtrack.

7.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Betrayal. Have had it too often. *shudders*

8.FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
Another half-an-hour? Please?

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Tibetan Delights, the Chhole-bhature place near New Empire, Cakes.

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
Nokuldana.

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT.
If I had a lot of money I would....daydream less about 'ungettable' objects.

12.DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
Can't. Pity though.


13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Kolbalish counts?

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Cool! Obviously!

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Can't drive a car. Can't ride a bicycle. Was not a toy-car person as a kid. Complete transport-retard.

16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Screwdriver, Jaljeera.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT,"IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...
Heal.

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
No broccoli for me, thank you.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
Pink? For the shock value?

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Benares, Kolkata.

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket when it's not being stuck-up and boring. Football, when underrated teams fight it out.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
We have had our tiffs. But amazingly, have always ended up as friends. :P

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Dust. A cricket bat.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Yes. But taller. And bolder.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl. Night owl. Night owl.

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Sunny side up.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
The Ledge, The bed, The head.

28. FAVORITE PIE?
Chocolate.

29.FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Cookies and cream. Also, butterscotch, and the weird orange, fruity thingy I had once.

Kotoi rongo dekhi duniyay.

The ridiculousness and deceit of it all is making me sick now.

Because it is raining cats and dogs at 2 in the morning, and because Joan Baez chooses this moment to talk about rust and diamonds.

With rain on my face and rain on my bed, I need just one phone call to melt myself.

I know I shall repent, resent this post tomorrow morning. However, for tonight, let me pretend that the girl on the lampshade will keep you unharmed.

Random mushy-angsty-pretentious half-tag I did because this is my blog and I can. Ok?

10 things you wish you could say to people. (Don't take names)

1. Now that I have realized that the numerous conversations were completely meaningless and pointless, would you mind explaining why you had them in the first place?
p.s. And please do get an eyesight soon. Blind so young is not an option.

2. Twirled me around your pretty little finger and made me dance, didn't you? I admit I was young and exceedingly stupid, but at the end of the day, you turned out to be one of the biggest jerks I have ever met.

3. Stop with the wise retorts. How insecure do you have to be to come up with this as a defence mechanism?

4. The days of self-induced martyrdom are SOOOO over. Are you angry because people are not falling at your feet or are you angry because people saw through your veneer? I mean, how mean do you have to be to do what you did?

5. I really like you. I wish I had the balls to pursue the gut feeling. But because I can't, I won't whine. And by the way, do sort out the mess that is your (non!?) relationship.

6. I admire you and love you. But sometimes, you scare the s*** out of me.

7. I think you are extremely intelligent. But I also think you are easily flattered and misguided. Your coldness terrifies me. There's no life in those eyes, if you know what I mean.

8. You are a nice guy. Why are you best friends with such stupid and messy people?

9. Don't try to act snooty. I can see right through the act that is you and your fake intellect. You are stupid. Really. And please DO NOT try to imitate me. It is scary and I don't like it. And after a point of time it gets irritating.
p.s. And while I am at it, if you are really such a big Potter-Pratchett fan, why do you shy away from any discussion I try to have about them? Go on, tell me who Lord Vetinari is. Do!
p.p.s. And please don't google.

10. You are so frustrated that it's not funny. (Not the sexual kind of frustration though). You are also pretentious AND backboneless. I have a bad hunch that you are gonna die unhappy.